Discordian Opening Ritual
by Prince Prance
1. Clap x5
2. The Erisian Cross:
- "Light in my Head
- Fire in my genitals
- Strength at my Right side
- Laughter at my Left side
- Love in my Heart."
3. Trace Spiral Pentagrams at the 4 quarters & zenith.
4. Face East:
"Blessed Apostle Hung Mung1, great Sage of
Cathay, Balance the Hodge and Podge and grant us equilibrium."
5. Face South:
"Blessed Apostle Van Van Mojo2, Doctor of
Hoodoo and Vexes, Give us the Voodoo Power and confuse our enemies."
6. Face West:
"Blessed Apostle Sri Syadasti3, patron of
psychedelia, Teach us the relative truth and blow our minds."
7. Face North:
"Blessed Apostle Zarathud4, hard-nosed
hermit, Grant us the Erisian doubt, and the constancy of Chaos."
8.Look up (or down):
"Blessed Apostle Malaclypse5, Elder
Saint of Discordia, Grant us illumination and protect us from stupidity."
9. Look all over the place:
"Great Goddess Discordia, Holy Mother Eris, Joy of the Universe, Laughter of
Space, Grant us Life, Light, Love and Liberty and make the bloody magick work!"
10. "Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia.!
1.Hung Mung is the Discordian link to the Chinese Mysteries and it is none other than
he who devised the Sacred Chao. He is patron of the Season of Chaos.
2.Dr. Van Van Mojo is a fellow of the Intergalactic Haitian Guerillas for World Peace
and is Patron of the Season of Discord.
3.Sri Syadasti is the Apostle of Psychedelia and the Patron of the Season of Confusion.
4.Zarathud, a Hermit of Medieval Europe, has been dubbed "Offender of the
Faith." He is Patron of the season of Bureaucracy."
5.Malaclypse the Elder is alleged to have been an ancient wiseman who carried as sign bearing the legend "DUMB" through the alleys of Rome, Baghdad, Mecca, Jerusalem, and some other places. He is Patron of the season of Aftermath.