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A Kali Meditation

by Phil Hine

This account is extracted from a 'Major Arcana' retirement, using the symbolism of the Tarot cards to suggest themes for magical exploration.

13. DEATH

Attributes: Nun, Scorpio

Virtue: Transformation

WORKING: KALI PUJA

SI: "It is my will to experience union with Kali."

I began by reciting a fragment of the hymn to Kali, and sealed the seven points of the body-yantra. Then, whilst gazing reverently at a large image of Kali, I invoked the 'whirlpool' sensations. This is an entry-point to Sahaja visualization which I have used since 1982. This is appropriate for Atu XIII since the dreamscape sequence it is based on follows the symbolism of Atu XIII.

After becoming caught in the whirlpool, I emerged upon the muddy banks of a river (Ganges?) at night. Naked & shivering I walked onwards, noticing that I was covered in black mud (Nigredo?) from the riverbank. I walked into the burning-ground, piled high with skull & bone mounds. Seated myself in the remains of a firepit and cried out "I offer myself to you, o Kali." She appeared, rising out of skull-head to my left - her face was horrific; mask-like with heavily-lidded staring eyes. She had 4 arms and was wearing a necklace of fresh entrails. She carried a sword with a jagged edge. She approached me silently - reached out, grabbed my right arm and tore it off. She hit me across the face so that I fell down into the firepit. She then ripped me apart, greedily & messily feeding upon me. She held my head up to her face and kissed me on the lips. My head withered & shrank as she did so. She then fastened my head to her ear with a metal hoop. A dizzying sensation of being jerked upwards, and then I was back in the room, with a curious feeling of being 'attached' to Kali. This has faded, although I can still sense her nearness.

Comments

This working has had quite a profound effect. For the next month or so, I felt the continual sense of being 'close' to Kali, and performed Kaula meditations almost continuously - in any moment when my attention was not engaged in some specific task. There is a line in the Hymn to Kali "I have made a burning-ground of my heart" which is a good expression for how I felt. Achieved a closer understanding of Aghori. I sought out my guru & thanked him, to which he made the traditional reply - "piss off". Aum Sa Ha!